{"id":338,"date":"2013-10-06T23:12:15","date_gmt":"2013-10-06T23:12:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/?p=338"},"modified":"2013-10-06T23:12:15","modified_gmt":"2013-10-06T23:12:15","slug":"omg-lol-embarrassing-and-hilarious-resume-and-job-search-bloopers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/omg-lol-embarrassing-and-hilarious-resume-and-job-search-bloopers\/","title":{"rendered":"OMG LOL! Embarrassing and Hilarious Resume and Job Search Bloopers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_339\" style=\"width: 270px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-339\" class=\"size-full wp-image-339\" alt=\"You said... what? Some of the funniest resume and job search bloopers I've come across. \" src=\"http:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/omg-lol-resume-bloopers.jpg\" width=\"260\" height=\"278\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/omg-lol-resume-bloopers.jpg 420w, https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/10\/omg-lol-resume-bloopers-280x300.jpg 280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 260px) 100vw, 260px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-339\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">You said&#8230; what? Some of the funniest resume and job search bloopers I&#8217;ve come across.<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I\u2019ve collected a lot laugh-out-loud hilarious resume bloopers over the years, and whenever I feel down, they\u2019re always good for a chuckle.<\/p>\n<p>Some I\u2019ve experienced firsthand, most I\u2019ve been told about, and a few may just be the stuff of urban legend in the hiring world, but they\u2019re all a hoot, so here you go.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><b>Small details. Big difference.<br \/>\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Previous job: Ass. Manager<\/b>. Doubly funny because she was applying to a medical office.<\/li>\n<li><b>Objective: Seeking party-time position with room for advancement.<\/b> Yeah, me, too.<\/li>\n<li><b>Detale-Oriented.<\/b> No, you aren\u2019t.<\/li>\n<li><b>Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details. <\/b>Except now now.<\/li>\n<li><b>Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.<\/b> That sounds like more of a punishment than a reward, don\u2019t you think?<\/li>\n<li>Then there is the legendary <b>Shift Supervisor<\/b> who left the letter \u201cf\u201d out of his job title when typing it. Yep.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><b>Say what?!?!<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>One executive boasted <b>\u201cLed Day-to-Day Execution of 450 People and All Their Associated Work<\/b>.\u201d I\u2019ve heard of bad bosses, but that beats all.<\/li>\n<li>A nurse\u2019s aide described her responsibilities as \u201c<b>dispensed medication and passed out.<\/b>\u201d I suspect that might also be her reason for leaving.<\/li>\n<li><b>Skills: I am a rabid typist.<\/b> I\u2019m not sure that\u2019s actually a skill, and you might want to deal with the rabies before looking for a job.<\/li>\n<li><b>Bilingual in three languages.<\/b> Anyone who knows the difference between a bicycle and a tricycle should be able to figure this one out.<\/li>\n<li><b>I\u2019m looking for a salary commiserate with my experience.<\/b> The word is commensurate, people. This way, you just sound sad.<\/li>\n<li>Instead of apologizing for the inconvenience in a cover note, one unlucky person wrote \u201c<b>Sorry for any incontinence.<\/b>\u201d Oops.<\/li>\n<li>\u201c<b>Here are my qualifications for you to overlook<\/b>.\u201d Done.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><b>Read between the lines.<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201c<b>Please don\u2019t misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job<\/b>.\u201d So you just get fired a lot?<\/li>\n<li>One applicant wrote \u201c<b>took three months off to get over the death of my cat<\/b>.\u201d Hmmm.<\/li>\n<li><b>Language Skills: Exposure to German for two years but many words are inappropriate for business. <\/b>Hmmm again.<b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<li>And then we have the job seeker who emailed her resume with the link to her social networking profile, which was public and decorated with photos of marijuana.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><b>Not something to brag about.<br \/>\n<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Graduated in the top 70% of my class.<\/b> I know everyone tells you to put statistics on your resume, but this is not one to include.<\/li>\n<li><b>I am most proudest of my 3.94 GPA and organize skills. <\/b>Perhaps good &#8216;organize skills&#8217; will help make up for bad grammar skills.<\/li>\n<li><b>Completed 11 years of high school. <\/b>That is quite an extended high school education.<b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>Achievement: Planned new corporate facility at $3M over budget. <\/b>Hiring managers, protect your budgets!<b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>Instrumental for ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. <\/b>Sorry to hear that.<b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.<\/b> That&#8217;s a lot to be responsible for.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b><span style=\"color: #ff9900;\">Ewwww.<\/span> <\/b><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><b>Very experienced with out-house computers. <\/b>I&#8217;m hoping they meant offsite. <b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>Personal Interests: Donating Blood. Fourteen gallons so far. <\/b>I admire that but&#8230; ewww.<b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<li><b>Hobbies: Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians. <\/b>That&#8217;s just not right.<b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019ve got more \u2013 how about you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ve collected a lot laugh-out-loud hilarious resume bloopers over the years, and whenever I feel down, they\u2019re always good for a chuckle. Some I\u2019ve experienced firsthand, most I\u2019ve been told about, and a few may just be the stuff of urban legend in the hiring world, but they\u2019re all a hoot, so here you go. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":339,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,9,13,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-338","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-articles","category-inspiration-and-motivation","category-news","category-resume-rants-and-tips"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=338"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":349,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/338\/revisions\/349"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/339"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=338"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=338"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.thejobsearchguru.com\/notesfrom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=338"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}